Whatever comes into our lives, a wonderful love or the loss of someone or something, we usually express: Why me? I do not deserve it.
Some days the things we have worked for a long time suddenly appear to bear fruit and our days that look gray painted are transformed into a rainbow of happiness.
On the contrary, sometimes we want to live, to be or to have certain experiences that do not arrive, and this sends a part of our lives to a gray room in which we can’t see the exit. When the issue is about our relationship with others it seems that we just put our heads under the ground while we listen to a little voice that asks: why can’t I have it?
We leave the root aside for only seeing the branches…..
At some point between so much mental noises the question arises: Do not I really deserve better?
A fundamental requirement to correctly answer this question: To honestly address the origin of the “problem”
Let us be clear in this: Nothing is a problem until we “baptize” it with this name.
For many years of my life I felt that I was walking failure after failure, I lived begging for a little happiness having the feeling that everyone around me said: You don’t deserve to be happy.
After a while I started the pilgrimage through different churches, feeling that the sermons were directed at me especially and I felt happy and important…. Here I found another “problem”, every week the effect expired and I had to return for more doses of happiness.
It was not until one day reading an article of Buddhism that I found the following: “Lord Buddha, if you had to summarize his teaching in a sentence, what would this be?” He replied: Do not attached to anything”
As I said before, teaching about impermanence in my first steps in Buddhism was a total revolution in my mind, in my life. How can we live in a world with millions of people, where it also seems that the existence and value of people is measured in their possessions?
Well, without much detours, let the trips to the foreign temples and start the most arduous of tasks: The unobstructed recognition of my own temple.
Life can be as happy as we are. Meditate, making contact with the natural being that I am, which is happy takes some time. We arrive in this world being happy by nature until the first contact with pain, roughness or suffering “put us in the closet” and it is until we unlearn and reconnect with our love essence that we leave the closet again.
Aren’t the churches that was wrong, or the interpretations that those who guide them give to the doctrines. Many good Christians have enjoyed them more than once they are introduced to Buddhism.
Being conscious has led me to transform “bad” things into “good”, which is commonly said to “take the bull of the horn”.
As Dhammaji often says: “The truth is in plain sight.”
Actually I’m not a Guru, I cannot tell each other how to live their life, it took me more than 40 years to get off the mountain of crystal spheres that I built myself.
The road to truth is not comfortable, we must break everything we built around us. This does not make the ego happy, and offers continuous resistance. Still today.
Knowing that my happiness is in me, that all the love and compassion necessary for an entire universe dwells in my being, Leads me to a simple understanding: Not only I deserve to be happy and loved. I am happiness and love. It is I who creates happiness and unhappiness. I could not find what I was giving myself.
Karma is a term that is very clear and looks unfair to many, but our thoughts create karma, our actions create karma. Understand that everything obeys causes and conditions to make us responsible for them. Take the pan by the handle.
I have often wondered when someone expects karma to equal the score so that if a person who hurts us is hurt in return he is not creating bad karma for that person. Such thoughts certainly impact the experiences of people present in a negative way so I guess the answer might be that it does.
My understanding of Karma is that it is not an instrument of justice or revenge that are artificial concepts, since they do not exist in nature. I do not like living with the idea of Karma as a consolation.
I believe that the purpose of karma is for our becoming and awakening not punishment or reward.
Our karmic debt determines what we are able to see and experience. Karma is a filter through which we experience life, can limit what we get to experience, while overcoming allows us to expand what we have to experience.
The task is to overcome the debt of karma to become the best version of ourselves. Have a better view of situations.
The bitter reality is that it is often through pain and its grieving process that we discover more of ourselves. If we are sufficiently aware and alert to this, we can discover this truth on our own. For others the cycle of karma / growth / becoming / life requires the pain of separation to push the individual.
Thoughts do not cease to arise, therefore let us not judge them. To place myself in the present, to be what I want to be, to take a positive direction based on what I have learned. Forgiveness is important, if we hurt someone to forgive us and if we were hurt we will also forgive, Forgiveness will not make what has happened to change, nor does it imply that the person who caused us harm lives in our lives, but see the positive experience And give us what we deserve without judging ourselves so we can move in the direction we want.
Fear of suffering and disillusionment lead us to create shields of hate, depression, arrogance. These feelings are the product of the illusion of self-esteem that when our desires are not filled, our mind creates problems.
It’s not about what I deserve I do not deserve, its attachment or aversion to thoughts. Just letting them be, they come and go at their pleasure. Trying to fight one thought only creates another thought. Not paying attention to them makes them dissolve like clouds in the sky.
concentrate on your breathing
I only know.
listen and stay in peace as it is.
be the peace that you are,
accept whatever you feel
and with the time
all will heal.